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Communication is the lifeblood in all relationships. It’s what keeps us moving forward. It provides meaning in the challenges and setbacks we face everyday in real life.
As leaders, the way we communicate with others can change very rapidly. Once friendly environments can suddenly become hostile and unpredictable. What works with some people does not work with others. Business relationships based on friendships suddenly become tactical. Before conditions can improve, often the first thing that needs to be developed is our communication skills.
In a down economy that has lasted so long, our ability to develop and build relationships can mean our survival.
Sometimes the message you intended to get across is understood, but many times it is not. Never forget that communication consists of more than the spoken or written word—important nonverbal messages are conveyed as well. Always remembers that when there is a conflict between what is said verbally and what is transmitted through body language, the body is always more accurate in revealing true emotions and feelings.
We empower ourselves when we learn how to interpret non-verbal cues in hostile environments Click to Tweet
In last week’s post, I talked about my role in an undercover operation targeting an individual suspected of being involved in organized crime. My fellow undercover agent (UCA) failed to accurately read several non-verbal cues being revealed by the individuals under investigation.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the non-verbal cues that my fellow UCA missed in last week’s story:
1. Lack of eyebrow flash
The eyebrow flash is a long-distance hello greeting that is universal. Monkeys and apes also use it as a greeting signal. The eyebrows rise rapidly for a split second and then drop again. We don’t eyebrow flash strangers on the street or people we don’t like.
When the UCA arrived, there were no eyebrow flashes by anyone in the group—an important indicator that he was either not liked, not trusted, or both.
2. Breaks in eye contact
As I mentioned in last week’s post, eyes are the most important way in which we reveal true emotions and feelings. When your audience breaks eye contact, it can mean several things:
- You’ve lost them
- They’re bored
- They not interested
- They’re stressed about a point you’ve made
The group broke eye contact with the UCA at several points and the reason was number 4. When they broke eye contact it had to do with the topic of the conversation. The UCA was trying to get more involved with the activities of the group, but they were hesitant. Instead of reading the breaks in eye contact for what they were—stress about bringing the UCA further into their operations—the UCA, missing their body language, pressed forward on that very point!
3. Covering the mouth
A five-year-old child is likely to cover their mouth when they tell a lie. This gesture continues to mature throughout adult life. So, instead of covering their whole mouth, they may rub their fingers around their lips.
This short video clip is a great example:
Fast Tube by Casper
In the case of president Bill Clinton, one of the most telling nonverbal gestures while answering questions about Monica Lewinsky in front of a grand jury were his two front index fingers pressed together and touching the tip of his nose, effectively covering his mouth in the process.
In fact, the UCA was subconsciously doing the same thing during his conversations with different members of the group. His lack of self-awareness regarding the messages that his own non-verbal behavior conveyed led to a disastrous outcome.
4. Fake Smiles
One of the reasons that George Clooney is so well liked is that his smile is genuine. For a smile to be genuine, the skin needs to crinkle around the eyes. A fake smile can be spotted a mile away because while the mouth may be imitating one, if the cheeks don’t push up, you’re not being genuine.
While the group looked at me with curiosity, they flashed fake smiles at my fellow UCA.
If we fail to accurately interpret the messages that are being sent by the people with whom we interact, it can mean the difference between survival and extinction.
What tips do you have for interpreting body language?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
The post Communicating Through Body Language appeared first on Empower the Leader in You.
